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Tonight I'm sitting at home but it's by my own choice. Usually on Saturday night I go to the club but I decided to stay home tonight since I was out late last night and didn't get much sleep. Plus I got really sunburned at my remote (that's a live braodcast LOL) so I don't feel very well.

As for last night, I think I've figured out that I had a better time on the date than she did. I honestly don't expect to hear from her again. That's fine, ish happens. It just makes me think. It's really been hard making friends outside of work, let alone finding someone to spend my time with. I know I shouldn't worry about that kind of stuff but I do. I get lonely. At home I had many friends that I could see anytime I wanted and I was actually going to be able to have another chance with... well, again, I'm withholding her name but she knows who she is. I think that may be why it's been kindda tough on me up here; I think about her non stop. She's always saying that she doesn't see why she's anything special and all that stuff. But to me, she is. I know you should never say never but I have to be realistic about this. The chances of us ever being together again are very slim. Obviously me being up here doesn't help that situation. I just don't know. I'm trying to keep my mind off of her but it's tough to not think about someone who touched your life in such a way that she did. Most people would probably say that I'm... well... I think you can do the math. But, again, I have to be realistic. I just wish I could live this fantasy that I seem to have.

Ok, enough depression. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow's my day off and I intend to do as little as possible. I may go buy a DVD playay at Best Buy. Other than that, I intend to do nothing.

--Jonathan