Trials

I'm not a beleiver in accidents. I don't believe that things "just happen" or are a coincidance. I believe that everything, and I do mean everything, happens for a reason. I believe that God makes things happen the way He does for a purpose. Even if it's something as small as a butterfly flapping its wings, it still has an effect on someone or something. Every one of us walking the Earth has a purpose, a purpose that God put us here for. No matter what, God knows what He's doing and He has his reasons for things happening the way they do.

I often wondered the real reason for my moving back to Mississippi. What initially got me down here was accepting a position with KQLK in Lake Charles to be the night jock. After three days I decided to leave. I had such an urge to leave and I really couldn't even explain it. I just knew that I needed to leave there and come home. I came home and I've experienced some changes... changes that I never in my life anticipated. During all of this, I've often wondered why God brought me back to this area.

I have a feeling that I've figured out that reason. Part of it was so I could experience some needed changes in my life. Part of it was so I could support system for my current anxiety issues. But another part, and to me the biggest part, is to be there for my mother.
Mom went to the doctor yesterday to investigate a mass on her left breast. We will have tests done on Wednesday to confirm on Wednesday but the doctor was "almost positive" that it's cancer. The doctor also said that it very well could be in her nodes. If it is cancer, I honestly don't know what's going to happen. Surgery is not an option because my mom is in such poor health that she can't be put under. Chemo... I don't even want to think about that. Again, she's in very poor health and I know that chemo takes a big toll on the body as it is. Radiation could be an option and maybe there are some others. All we can do at this point is wait and see.
All of this said, we're not 100% sure if it is in fact cancer. We're all hoping and praying that the doctor is wrong and that the mass is nothing to worry about. It's tough not to think about it though. As far as Im concerned, I've left it all up to God, left it all in His hands. I trust Him to pull us through this but it is still hard not to think about it. This isn't the first time that cancer has touched my family. I've had a grandfather die of prostate cancer and another to die of lung cancer.

The great thing about God is that He promises that He will never put more on us than we can handle and that we can trust Him to get us through our times of trial. He never promised an easy life but He did promise that he wouldn't leave us by the wayside to face things all be ourselves. It may seem that way sometimes but He's always there. I have faith that God will get me and my family through this trial with my mother and I have no doubt that He'll be faithful in all of the other things that I am facing.
Please keep my family, specifically my mother, in your thoughts and prayers. I will update this as I get information. Thank you all for your support. I love you very much.

Jonathan

It's Time For a Change!

Hi! Not often that I write stuff about my personal life here but I need all the support I can get with a decision that I've made and I know that I can count on you all to help me. Most of what I'll need is some prayers, good thoughts sent my way and maybe a boot in the butt every now and then.

Basically, I'm sick and tired of being a fat ass. A lot of people might take that as me being down on myself but the fact is, I'm a pretty big boy. Oh sure, I'm pretty healthy and all but I know that that won't last if I don't do something now to ensure that I'm as healthy as I can be in 10, 20, 50 years from now. Pretty much, being overweight is what I've known all my life. I don't think I've ever been "skinny" except during a brief period when I was little. I've never really seen myself as big, at least not like I am.

That is, until a couple of days ago.

I had some extra money (how often do that happen?!) and decided to buy some new clothes. All I can say is... damn. When I tried on my usual size of pants and they didn't fit--and when I saw the size that I had to buy--it woke me up. I never thought I would be that size. But I am. This morning I took a good look at myself in the mirror (literally) and really started thinking about it. It's time I did something about this. I have lots of reasons to do so... mainly, I want to live to see my kids grow up (assuming the Lord blesses me with them someday) and I also want to know what it's like not to be big. Again, I've never really know anything else but I'm ready to experience it. I want to be a good husband to my future wife and make sure she doesn't have to worry about my dropping dead because of a heart attack, diabetes or a stroke. I could go on with reasons why I need to do this but the point is, I just need to!

I will be exploring gym memberships as soon as I get a chance to (first of next week most likely). If you have any feedback on where I should go, please feel free to share your suggestions. I live in Philly and commute to Meridian everyday so that may play a part in my decision. Also, I will be going to a doctor ASAP to discuss diets and other such things. By the way, surgery is NOT in the picture and won't be. I just can't see going to that step and I don't want to. That's truly an "only as a last resort" kind of deal.

I appreciate any support I can get from you all on this. I know that this will be tough but I can do it with the help of God and my friends and family. I'll keep track of my progress on here and on the show when I start really doing it.

Jonathan

Southern Tradition

Every region of every country in the world has its own set of traditions. I'm of the opinion that no other region anywhere on Earth has as much as the southern United States. While I don't agree with a lot of what goes on down here as far as politics, closed minds and beliefs about things like race but by the large the south is full of people who love all (regardless of race or other such factors) and are proud of there heretage. Here are some things that we hold near and dear to our hearts.

Southern Cooking: Who can argue that the south doesn't have the best food in the world? We know how to properly cook fried chicken (in an iron skillet with lots of Crisco - take that trans fat worriers). We know how to make real cornbread, dressing (as in the stuff made with cornbread, not loaf bread), greens (mustard, collared, whatever... it doesn't matter), etc. Iron skillets are passed down from generation to generation and they get better with every use and seasoning. I could go on and on but I think you see the point I'm making here.

Southern heretage: This could be all-encompassing but the main things I want to touch on this is mostly the cival war era. Many people in the south wear it like a badge of honor and they should. Southerners have much about the past to be proud of. However I do have to say that I disagree with one thing: The flag (and if you're from the south you know which flag I'm talking about). Yes it's a symbol of our past. No it should not be a part of our present. I feel that Mississippi should change the state flag to a design that does not include the Confederate battle flag. It should be noted that Mississippi is the only state that still includes the Confederate flag into the present state flag. "But it's the flag our forefathers fought under, we should honor them." Ok, using that logic the US should be flying the Union Jack (the flat of the United Kingdom/England), also certain states should be flying the Mexican, French and Spanish flags. Hey, we all had ancestors to fight under those flags.

Smellin' what I'm cooking'? Move on and embrace the past whle honoring the past. Trying to keep the past from leaving is a whole different matter and what a lot of people seem to do.

Football: Football is king in the south. I know that on Friday nights my show will be dead because no one will be listening (they're all at the game). Philadelphia shuts down all together, expecially when Philly and Central both have home games. College football is Saturday... if State and/or Ole Miss are on the air the town will be vacant because everyone's at home or at their favorite watering hole watching the game. Of course, I can't forget to mention junior college ball on Thursdays. Football is very much an important social and recreational activity down south and one that's very much looked forward to. Fall in the south sure is fun!

I could go on and on; these are but a few traditions the south is known for. Of course, we also have the most beautiful and (most of the time) sweetest women in the world. For every bad things that is a part of the south, there are at least two or three good things. I'm proud to be southern and I hope to do some thing to make things better down here.

The rest of the world is watching and it's noticing a new south; let's keep them talking.

--Jonathan

Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich

It's election time in Mississippi. Being as political as I am, one would think that I would love this time, that I would be excited at being able to debate and discuss the issues of the various candidates. However, I really don't feel that way.

In fact I'm ready for it to be over.

Let's look at the two candidates for Governor of Mississippi: The incumbant, Hayley Barbour (R) is the favorite to win. Hayley has had a lot of good things happen during his time in Jackson, including the landing of the Nissan plant in Canton and the recent announcement of the Toyota plant that will open in the north Mississippi. However his record isn't all roses and sunshine: Education continues to be a sticking point because it's not completely funded (however, I feel that the state Legislature is more to blame for that) and Hayley also refused to sign a bill that would eventually eliminate the grocerary tax (which is one of the highest in the country) and raise the tobacco tax (which is one of the lowest in the country).

Barbour has a pretty big opponent in John Arthur Eaves (D). Eaves is running on a platform of his wife returning dignity to the Governor's Mansion as well as raising teacher salaries (as has been promised by every major candidate for as long as I can remember) and returning voluntary school prayer as well as putting classes on Bible literacy in public schools. Isn't that cute? He's wanting to do things that have been ruled unconstitutional over and over and over again.

Now one might think that since I'm a Christian that I'd be all for this. Fact of the matter is, I'm totally against his Bible class and prayer plans... well, mostly. A moment of silence is one thing but a prayer read over the school PA system is another. If that's what he has in mind (the PA prayer) then I'm against it. Simply, no one should be forced to pray if they don't want to. Besides, how about this: Would they allow a Muslim student to say a prayer over the PA? Also, are they going to teach classes about other holy books for other religions? No? Or how about seperation of church and state?

Do you see where I'm going with this? Me thinks Eaves and his supporters haven't really thought this through. His plan seems to go against everything Freedom of Religion is supposed to protect. Besides, I don't want some teacher with their own agenda teaching my (future) kids about the Bible. I want my kids to learn about the Bible, God and Jesus from me, their (future) mother and the church. That way I can be sure they're hearing the truth and not some N.E.A. whackjob's distorted views.

Another thing I don't like: At the debate at the Neshoba County Fair, Barbour launched a personal attack on Eaves that even the crowd didn't seem to believe. After Eaves recognized his wife and said she would return dignity to the Governor's Mansion, Barbour took the stage and also thanked and recognized his wife for 35 yeares of marriage. Barbour then quiped, "I got my trophey wife the first time." This was a not-so-veiled attack on Eaves since he is on his second marriage. I have a general rule: I don't vote for those who have to conduct personal attacks to win an election.

Basically the choices for Governor are like the South Park episode that parodied the 2004 Presidential election: We'll be voting for a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich.

As for our local elections, all's pretty much quiet in Neshoba County. No real surprises but some don't feel that way about the Sheriff's race. WTOK called the ousting of Larry Myers by Donny Adkins an "upset." Oh please! Anyone who has hung around the county knows that Myers are an ineffective sheriff. He allowed the deputies to get away with murder (I saw it first hand when I was a dispatcher) and most of the time they didn't even do their patrols. There was, at any given time, a stack of warrents that weren't being served. Myers needed to go.

Over in Lauderdale County there also weren't many surprises... even Ray Boswell won again. Yep, the voters in District Five seem to not care that their Supervisor is a proven drunk, racist and hothead. I also heard the term "good old boy" used on the news. Gotta love it.

As for who I'm voting for in the race for Governor... keep in mind that I said it's coming down to voting for a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich.

My vote will be a write-in for Tobe Gill (for those not from the area, think of a black version of Forrest Gump).

--Jonathan

A Retrospective of My 25th Year

Well, here I am: On the brink of turning another year older. Another year of changes (many), another year of ups and down, another year of having the breath of life in me. My 25th year has been filled, as most of them are, with everything you can imagine.

This is the year that I returned home after almost two and a half years in Fort Wayne, Indiana. What finally got me out of there was the promise of a return to radio by a station in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Three days later I'm leaving because the situation was not at all what I was told it was. It all worked out: I'm back at my former station and even doing the job I was doing before. It's been a real treat to "return to my roots." I also advanced somewhat in that I'm also working with another station in our building as the Assistant Program Director. Oh, I forgot to mention that: I'm APD of Hot 97.9 (WHTU) in addition to my duties on Q951. It's a fun ride. Admittedly, it was a tough decision to leave Indiana. I had (and still have) a lot of friends up there not to mention I was part of a great church. However I know now that I made the correct decision. I'm right where I need to be.

I've spent this year getting to see my nephew, Jakobe, grow up. In fact today was his first birthday and had I not moved back down here I couldn't have been at his party. Jakobe's truly been a blessing to me and I love that I've been able to be a part of his life. It's been fun getting to be a part of his life.

I'm also thankful of another product of my returning home. If you've been reading this thing for the entire three years that I've had it online (wow--three years already?!) then you know about Jess. Jess is a woman that I dated right before I made the move to Indiana and that I've always had feelings for. Recently we decided to give things another shot and I'm very glad that we have. It's only been a couple of weeks but still... I'm happy. I'm glad that she stuck by me even with the crap I gave her and put her through. Despite all of that and some issues I went through recently where I was VERY confused about a lot of things, she stuck by my side.

As you can see the one constant in my life for the last year has been change. My 25th year on this Earth has been full of changes... some were eacy to make, others took lots of pondering. My 26th year promises to have lots of change as well... some I'm pondering right now so we'll see what happens. Regardless, I'm thankful that I'm in a place where I have great friends, family and (most importantly) God to back me up.

Add one more constant: Love.

--Jonathan

Romantic vs. Reality

I know that my posting here is pretty random and spiradic. Simply put, I've been busy with stuff at the station and just haven't had much time to post. However, I've been thinking of something and I want to get it down here.

For the last almost two hours I've been watching The Passion of The Christ on cable. If you've never seen this movie you simply must. If this movie doesn't make you think about what Christ did for us then I don't know what will. We will never fully understand what He went through to save us from the punishment that we deserve but this will give you a pretty good idea.

I was talking to a friend of mine and I wonder if most people, even Christians, have any kind of clue of what Christ did for us. I've heard many sermons on the subject of the death and resurection and most pastors (and people in general) have tended to romanticize the event. They want you to think of a white man with flowing locks of brown hair and pure skin dying with honor and glory. Don't get me wrong, I understand the reason for His death but simply put the picture I just painted isn't near the reality. The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all give accounts of what Christ's death was like but the picture they paint is anything but pretty.

In human terms, it was ugly.

The reality of it is, Jesus was betrayed by Judas and arrested. Shortly after His arrest and mock trial he was beaten, nay, flogged. Scourged. Almost in that he was at death's door. Can you imagine the pain and suffering that right there brought on to His body? He was beaten with rods. Mel Gibson's movie protrays Him being beaten with claws, a cat of nine tails, kicked, punched, spat upon. His very skin being ripped from his body. Bones showing. Trembling from the magnatude of the pain coursing through His body.

And that was before the cross was even a factor.

He was so weak from the beatings that a man had to be pulled from the crowd to help Christ carry the cross up the hill. A side note on that: If you watch the movie you notice that any time Jesus collapsed, the man carrying the cross could not bear the weight. Only when Jesus was carrying it with him could he stand the weight. That is a commentary about how we need Jesus to help us with our crosses!

After the cross was taken to the hill, Jesus was just then about to be nailed. Think about what He had already endured. He couldn't have been very "with it" as He was waiting for what came next. I can only imagine how incoherant and disoriented He must have been.

He's nailed to the cross. Now this in itself is some serious business. Nails being driven through His hands. Blood spattering with every blow of the hammer. Bones being pulvarized. Nerves being severed and the pain He was experiencing because of it.

Now, picture that happening again with His other hand and His feet.

Now imgine how it must have been with Him hanging on the cross for hours. The sun beating down on him and dehydration having long since set in being made worst now that the sun was beating Him with its rays. Shock had also long since set in due to the loss of blood. Finally... it's all over. Well, at least for the time being. The rest, as they say, is history.

I can't begin to imagine any of this. The sheer pain He experienced is something I'm sure we in our human form will never be able to come close to comprehending.

All while this pain is surely on his mind, so were we. Jesus knew the reason He had to suffer. God spelled it all out for him. Jesus was going to be taking on the sins of the world that already existed and the sins of all the future generations of mankind. God told Jesus who He would be dying for and that this wouldn't be easy. And he loved us so much that he said yes. God loved us so much that He offered up His Son to die for us! Jesus' love for us was so strong that He was praying for those who were persecuting him, driving the nails on the cross, those who had beaten and spit on Him. But He was also praying for those who presecute Him and His people today.

He truly practiced what He preached: Love your enemies and pray for them.

As you can see, there's nothing romantic about it. It was ugly. But you know what the best part of it all is? It was all done with love. He loved us that much and He still loves us today. All we have to do is have faith and live for Him.

That's something I can live with.

--Jonathan

If We Are The Body

Hi all. I know I don't post much here anymore... I just haven't had much to say. Life's just been, well, life. Things at the radio station have been good but it's been stressful. We're in "the book" which means we're in a ratings period... it's getting down to the last couple of weeks and we're all tired and ready for a break! Thankfully I'll be able to take some time off soon but it's been an interested ride. All of that said, this has been a blast! I love being back on the air in my hometown and on the station where "Jonathan" (the radio jock) was born.

Tonight I was scanning the radio dial and I somehow managed to land on the K-Love station out of Quitman. "If We Are The Body" by Casting Crowns was playing and I honestly think it's one of the greatest songs I've ever heard.

It should also be required listening for all Christians.

The message of the song is that Christians should be just that, Christians. We shouldn't be the legalistic, judgemental and self-serving "church folk" that we tend to be. Before I go any further let me issue this disclaimer: I'm well aware that I'm not perfect and I'm just as guilty.

Anyway, the above things that "If We Are The Body" warns us not to be are exactly how many churches (as in the membership and to a degree the leadership) tend to be. People look down upon fellow worshipers because they're not wearing the right clothes... they didn't put "enough" in the offering plate... they disagree with something they heard them say or saw them doing... they disagree with someone they associate with because "they're not living right..." "She got divorced, that must mean she was running around on her husband... that tramp..." "I saw him drinking a beer last night; he's must be an alcoholic and he's going to Hell..." basically you can insert any reason there. I've seen it before and I've even been the victim of it a time or two in my life.

(Let me issue another disclaimer: I am not in any way saying that all churches are like this; however, the ones that are tend to make all of them look bad and what I'm trying to do is explain why I haven't found a church home down here and why so many people look down on churches and even Christianity as a whole because of all of this.)

I don't know anyone who hasn't seen or experienced what I described above. That is exactly why "old school" churches are becoming more irrelevant by the day and why some people even reject Christianity entirely. What it boils down to is people are judging those who are no worse than they are, like God put them in charge or something.

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that He wasn't capable... I'm sure He would disagree too.

Partly through those observations and also partly because of my experiences with a non-denominational church in Indiana (The Pointe Church in Fort Wayne), I've decided that I'm not a fan of denominations. Denominations tend to be very legalistic and extremely political. I'm well aware that all churches and people are just as capable but you see this more in Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal and the like. You also tend to see this more in the south.

When I look for a church, I look for a Church that believes the Bible as the true and undesputable word of God. I look for a body of believers who know they're not perfect, never will be perfect but are doing the best they can as a part of the Body of Christ. And I look for those who are, to borrow The Pointe's mission statement, "helping people find and follow Jesus!" All too often we get so caught up in the majesty of the service, the new building we want to construct or Fred's new suit and forget what a church is supposed to be and what they're supposed to do. Some churches say they're doing these things but the proof is in the fruit. What if that fruit isn't so good? Are people being saved because of what your church is doing to spread the Gospel? Are people growing in Christ? Are you helping them or are you just admiring Christine's new car in the parking lot and gloating at how big your offering check was?

Another song that's really convicting is "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew. These words should make any Christian really question things: "My Jesus would never be accepted in my church; His blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet. But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud. And I think He'd perfect Beale Street to the stained glass crown." Can you say that this Jesus Todd describes (and not the perfectly complected caucasian, brown haired and royally dressed Jesus we tend to have spoon fed to us) would be accepted in your church? Honestly, I don't know many churches whose members wouldn't call the police if someone Todd describes were to walk into their service!

That's sad.

Again, maybe it was because I was spoled that I went to a church in Indiana that wasn't political or judgemental and accepted all of those who truly wanted to find and follow Jesus. The Pointe is diverse in membership and vibrant and active with many misistries and other outreach. I've yet to find that down here. Some have said that maybe I should start a church like The Pointe down here. Well, don't think for a second that the thought hasn't crossed my mind more than once (even before I moved back down here). Maybe that's what God sent me back down here to do, maybe I'm just supposed to be one of the people who will find others who agree with me and we'll do it together. Regardless, I pray that spirtual revival (real revival) will come to this part of the country. I also pray that God's will will be done and that He'll use me and/or others to help bring this about.

From one sinner to another, my God bless you.

--Jonathan