Trials

I'm not a beleiver in accidents. I don't believe that things "just happen" or are a coincidance. I believe that everything, and I do mean everything, happens for a reason. I believe that God makes things happen the way He does for a purpose. Even if it's something as small as a butterfly flapping its wings, it still has an effect on someone or something. Every one of us walking the Earth has a purpose, a purpose that God put us here for. No matter what, God knows what He's doing and He has his reasons for things happening the way they do.

I often wondered the real reason for my moving back to Mississippi. What initially got me down here was accepting a position with KQLK in Lake Charles to be the night jock. After three days I decided to leave. I had such an urge to leave and I really couldn't even explain it. I just knew that I needed to leave there and come home. I came home and I've experienced some changes... changes that I never in my life anticipated. During all of this, I've often wondered why God brought me back to this area.

I have a feeling that I've figured out that reason. Part of it was so I could experience some needed changes in my life. Part of it was so I could support system for my current anxiety issues. But another part, and to me the biggest part, is to be there for my mother.
Mom went to the doctor yesterday to investigate a mass on her left breast. We will have tests done on Wednesday to confirm on Wednesday but the doctor was "almost positive" that it's cancer. The doctor also said that it very well could be in her nodes. If it is cancer, I honestly don't know what's going to happen. Surgery is not an option because my mom is in such poor health that she can't be put under. Chemo... I don't even want to think about that. Again, she's in very poor health and I know that chemo takes a big toll on the body as it is. Radiation could be an option and maybe there are some others. All we can do at this point is wait and see.
All of this said, we're not 100% sure if it is in fact cancer. We're all hoping and praying that the doctor is wrong and that the mass is nothing to worry about. It's tough not to think about it though. As far as Im concerned, I've left it all up to God, left it all in His hands. I trust Him to pull us through this but it is still hard not to think about it. This isn't the first time that cancer has touched my family. I've had a grandfather die of prostate cancer and another to die of lung cancer.

The great thing about God is that He promises that He will never put more on us than we can handle and that we can trust Him to get us through our times of trial. He never promised an easy life but He did promise that he wouldn't leave us by the wayside to face things all be ourselves. It may seem that way sometimes but He's always there. I have faith that God will get me and my family through this trial with my mother and I have no doubt that He'll be faithful in all of the other things that I am facing.
Please keep my family, specifically my mother, in your thoughts and prayers. I will update this as I get information. Thank you all for your support. I love you very much.

Jonathan