Faith

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm certainly no saint. I cuss, I drink (sometimes--don't worry mom), and I've committed other assorted sins. If I tried to list all the things I've done through out my life that I know are wrong, I'd be here all night and well into the week.

I won't lie, I've been lazy lately. Church has been the further thing from my mind since I moved up here. I always said that I was going to find a church when I moved up here and got settled. Did I? No. I even read my Bible every night for a while. Do I now? No. I got lazy. As you can infer, my faith was shaken. There's no specific reason other than just being lazy and not wanting to do anything about my spirtual life. No church, no Bible reading... and I all but stopped praying. I started to question things. I've basically been in that holding pattern for the last couple of months.

One of the good things about being with Nicole is that I've had the opportunity to go to church with her. When she invited me the first time, I said yes without even thinking about it. Almost right afterward, the "bad" side of me went "and why did you just do that?" So I went and I enjoyed it. It made me think. Ever since things have been going through my mind about why I got lazy, why I've felt the way I have and all that good stuff.

Today I went with her again (I haven't missed a Sunday since we've been together, BTW) and I really started to think. I know that no matter what I'm still a sinner and I'll never be anything close to perfect but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't serve God to the absolute best of my abilities and that I shouldn't profess Jesus Christ as my personal savior. One of the things I thought about was how could I ever question anything about God. If I need proof that He does exist and that he does work miracles, I shouldn't look any further than the nearest mirror. I, myself, am a walking, talking and breathing miracle. I have a disorder known as Ketotic Hypoglycemia. Basically it's the opposite of diabetes; the form that I have tends to be pretty severe. When I was a child I had it REALLY badly. I wasn't supposed to live to see my 10th birthday and, yes, I almost died a few times. But here I am today at age 24 and I haven't had very many problems with the disorder since I was about 12. If that isn't a miracle, I don't know what is. There's a little more to that but I only share that with certain people.

So what's my plan? I'm going to continue going to church. I am going to start reading my Bible everyday and I'm going to start praying everyday as well. One of the things I've been missing so much is church... I just didn't realize it.

Just by typing all of that I'm feeling better. I'm so glad that I'm getting back on the right track. Please keep me in your prayers.

And thank you, Nicole. :-)

--Jonathan

P.S. The promised vacation summary is coming! I just felt like typing the above today instead. Stay tuned!